The Average News

I haven't the energy for a full, informative post of any kind on any subject, so here's a mish-mash:

- An unusual side benefit to single bachelor living: I've developed better dental hygiene. I'm finally using the electric toothbrush my mom bought me a months and months ago and brushing for the full two minutes, I'm gargling with mouthwash twice a day, I'm paying attention to my gums.

I'm hoping that this one effect will slowly move to cover every aspect of my life, and I will become a regular exerciser, eat carefully balanced meals, and be in bed by 11 every night. This might take time.

- I've decided to write a screenplay in my free time. I've got what I think is an excellent idea, but I'm not going to tell anyone because I don't want feedback. I'm afraid someone will tell me it's not a very good idea, which will paralyze me and make me not want to do it.

- I've also decided to paint my walls, if I'm allowed to. I think it'll really transform my apartment into someplace pretty classy. Or I'll get paint all over my carpet and lose my deposit. Now taking bets on what everyone thinks is most likely.

- I got paid! I'm no longer completely broke, and can now afford to buy the following useful items: food, gas, a waste basket, clothes hangers, a skillet, a pan, and a pitcher. The skillet and the pan are so that I can finally cook the food I have ready to be made (eggs, burgers, cake mix, etc.) but have no way to make them. The pitcher is so that I can finally use the dozen cans of frozen juice concentrate I bought and then left in the freezer once I realized I didn't have anything to make them in.

I was telling this to someone (translation: whining) and they pointed out that earlier in my story I had mentioned that the milk had gone bad. "Why didn't you just wash out the milk jug really well and use that?"

I can't believe I didn't think of that.

- The race for governor of Texas is heated and muddy, and in only ten days, I am as equally informed as any standard Texas voter. The commercials run so often that I've memorized each one and can name all the candidates and a brief history of their campaign. Which has only embittered me.

Now, most campaign commercials are annoying and self-absorbed. But each of these commercials is so frustratingly back-patting and non-specific and mean-spirited that the first time I saw any of them, I said to myself, "I would never vote for you. Ever." And then the commercials kept playing and playing, until it's all I could do to avoid screaming.

I really can't wait for this election to be over.