But can they chew gum, too?

Peracchio is reporting a story from London about how, in order to avoid the painful injuries caused by texting and not looking where you're walking, the government is padding every lampost and street sign with a protective mattress to keep people from banging their heads on them. This means we're only three years away from our first successful I-walked-into-an-
sustained-devastating-injuries lawsuit, which, as you can imagine, is going to be quite a fun day for all of us.

This comes on the heels of the alarm system I've seen on Volvo commercials recently (the BLIS, nicknamed "The Bliss"), which informs you if you're shifting lanes with someone in your blind spot and then drives the car back into the correct lane. It also sounds an alarm if you get too close to the car in front of you. That's right, America, we've given you permission to text while driving. It's okay! The car will take care of everything! Go ahead and tell your friend that you'll see her at 6:30, though you might be a little late. You're okay. The car's got you covered.

We're also only six years away from all carpool lanes becoming padded text-while-driving lanes. Safety first.