I already wrote this once. It didn't work out.
I came on the site a couple of days ago to post links to the latest projects I've been working on. I started writing a small introductory paragraph about what the projects were, intending to embed the video and be done with the post. But one paragraph became two, and then twelve, filled with self-righteous explanations of how little time and resources I had and how these projects were created despite great duress and impossible expectations. I suddenly realized I'd been writing for an hour and hadn't come close to saying anything.
This is not unusual for me when discussing my work. If you've been through the Works page of this site, you'll have noted that the projects are offered up with a few paragraphs of explanation, most of which are simply thinly-disguised excuses for the projects' shortcomings. They're full of I only had 24 hours to get it together and I had to figure out how to do it with no budget and with no help and no time to put together a real plan, I set out to try to throw something together. The takeaway is never "listen to this crazy story!", it's "when you consider everything I had against me, this is really the best you could possibly expect."
I've been thinking about this habit for the past few days, wondering why it is I'm simply not capable of just saying "hey, I made this, take a look at it!" It's not a comfortable study to make about yourself.
Part of the issue is the nature of my job. I churn out about 120 videos a year, which is an large number for a position like mine. I almost never get a chance to do a project where I feel I can make it anywhere near what it could be. It's all a case of what I can get done in a day or two, even for bigger or higher-profiler projects.
Whenever I show someone a video I've finished, I want them to understand that it's not the best project I could do, it's just the best I could come up with on short notice, and look what I managed to do with no resources! I want them to know that I really think I could do this better than I did, if given the chance. I want tempered expectations.
But quality isn't something that varies according to expectations. If a video I've made is lacking, it's because I didn't make it as well as I could have. That's a fact, regardless of whether I was trying to make it underwater while drunk with a gun to my head.
This makes me sad, because this website is my portfolio, and while there's many projects here that I'm proud of, there's almost nothing that I like without reservations. It's all things that I like and think show my talents, but only when you understand that I think I could've done it better, given the chance.
Someday, I'll learn to let my work stand on its own two feet. Until then, I'll link you to a fascinating interview I did with a Bosnian war refugee called "The World In Our Midst," and a television commercial campaign I did for an outreach ministry our church has.
I think they're both pretty good, considering.