Ranking Every Movie I Saw This Year, #34: X-Men Apocalypse


I have defended Bryan Singer's adaptations of the X-Men comics to the moon and back, despite the wild jumps in quality between them. But after all the fun of X-Men: Days of Future Past, this movie was a brutal slog, with all the best elements of the previous movie (Quicksilver's super-speed rescuing set to a pop song playing through his headphones, a slick 80's aesthetic filling in for last movie's warm 70's setting) desperately jammed into it. The only fun to be had was in a montage of teenage mutants shopping at the mall (a sequence that was inexplicably cut from the final film). There's none at all in Oscar Isaac, trapped under a sea of body paint, going through the worst “assembling the team” montage ever committed to film.*

*If Apocalypse can just make mutants more powerful by touching them, and he's trying to create the most powerful mutants possible, why would he start with such utter zeroes like Olivia Munn's Pyslocke (her power: she's kind of a ninja) and Ben Hardy's Angel (his power: he has wings)? I understand he might be hard up for time, but look around a little bit, guy.

This is one of the most fun superhero universes to play around in, and Singer's had a ball exploring it before. I don't know what happened this time out, but I never want it to happen again. And I don't have any interest in watching this one again, either.