Changing of the Guard

My dad e-mailed me about a week back with a piece by the always clever Jonah Goldberg, who was ridiculing the work of Les Moonves, who has moved CBS Evening News to a new, "hipper" format:



As many of you know, I like to keep my finger on the pulse of those who keep their fingers on the pulse of those who occassionally monitor what young people think. And, based upon my exhaustive research I can tell you one thing I am sure of. Les Moonves is a frick'n genius. The CBS News chief is changing the "antiquated" format of the CBS Evening News with a multi-city, multi-anchor deal (or, "dealio" as the kids today call it). He believes that young viewers don't like the "voice of God" approach of one anchor.

He is so right. Why, I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've overheard i-Pod listening hipsters and hep-cats say, "You know, Tré, it's really too bad the broadcast news programs are so obsessed with the mono-anchor paradigm. If only they would shed that antedeluvian format for something more dynamic and multi-tasking I would eschew MTV cribs and the WB fare for some hard news about the deficit and social security reform reported from different locales."



I like Goldberg, but he's dead wrong. Moonves' move may or may not pan out, but even if it fails, it is absolutely a step in the right direction for CBS. Here's why:

1. CBS's snafu this fall about Bush's National Guard record nails home pretty clearly that you aren't allowed to mess up at all when it comes to news. Someone will call you on it, and you will take a major hit, and whoever the main anchor is takes a lot of the blame for it. Why? Rather didn't write the news, he's just the talent. He sits behind the desk and reads what's on the teleprompter and in his notes. He segues in and out of commercials. He connects with his audience. That's what he's always been paid to do, and he's good at it. Why should we be mad at him if the news he reads to us happens to be utterly wrong? But we do get angry, because he was the one who said it, and we believed it, and we were fooled. Look at CNN or FoxNews. This situation could never have happened to them, because we don't connect their news with each individual nearly as much.

2. In fact, CNN and FoxNews are really what have created this situation for CBS. Both have created a new kind of news cast: two rolling text bars combined with graphics, along with the newscaster's head poking out amidst the mess. People can turn in for a few minutes, catch up on what's happening in the world, then switch it off. They can catch ESPN for their sports update. The evening news program, as it is, slowly becomes antiquated. Yet people still tune in to such broadcasts as Jon Stewart's Daily Show, so there's still a call for news shows. But they need to be updated, and CBS Evening News hasn't really been updated since Rather took the position. It's been a distant third for 20 years. Not good for "TV's Most Watched Network."

3. The iPod-wearing teenager is not their market - yet. Eventually, those damn kids with their loud music and stupid clothes will become young adults who were raised on MTV and the WB. They'll be used to flash and glitter in all their TV viewing habits. They won't watch anything else. It's just about an ideal time to be launching such a move: Gen X-ers now range from about ages 25 or 30 to 40 or 45, depending on who you ask. Funny how that sneaks up on you, huh? Gen X is still vaguelly synonymous with the youth market, but the fact is that they've all entered the workforce, 50 million strong, and they don't watch MTV anymore. They actually watch news programs. But not CBS Evening News. Why should they? Research has proved one thing absolutely clear: what worked for the Baby Boom generation will not work for Gen X. Shows aimed at Baby Boomers have no spillover into Gen X. But even if changing the format does not draw them back in, and they're already lost: the Millennial generation, 75 million strong, is just now entering entering the work force. And it's entirely possible that the first news show to embrace the idea of flashier graphics, faster cuts, and less of that "voice of God" factor will be the one that captures that audience.



I mean, it's CBS Evening News. What could they possibly have to lose?

Perspective

It's important to realize what happens when you get too wrapped up in your work. You miss things. This past week, I was so busy with everything that was going on with the Asbury film, and putting together my Asbury Initiative application, that I totally felt disconnected from reality. Now, I'm not complaining - it's my fault. When you get too busy with work, you have no one to blame but yourself when you run out of time. Haven't you ever seen Nicolas Cage in Family Man? Or Schwartzenegger's Jingle All The Way? Of course you haven't. And who could blame you? Actually, all Christmas movies have the same storyline, reminding you that you should be spending your time with the people close to you rather than wasting your time with your work (of course, you realize the people who made these movies all spent three months away from their families making the film in order to remind the forgetful public that putting work before family makes you and A-1 Nimrod. But I digress). However, if a friendly wingless angel were to wing me back in time to review my week and remind me what I missed, here's a top-ten list of everywhere I lost priority:



1. I didn't waste any time in the cafeteria. I kept being so busy with classes, meetings, etc., that I didn't really get a chance to hang out in the cafeteria. Instead, I end up grabbing food up in the Grille later. The cafeteria has always been my home, so to lack the chance to just around after dinner and chewing the fat - it used to be my life, but now it's a luxury. And speaking of lives...

2. My life. I swear, I used to have one. And I'm not trying to convince you, you've already made up your mind (and if you're bored enough to be reading this, then just let me just remind you about that whole kettle/pot thing. So just keep your pretty mouth shut) - I'm trying to convince myself. I now lack direction every time I'm not working on something; I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. In those moments, I just end up watching some movie with the guys on my hall. And film studies majors rarely complain about that sort of thing, there's a limit. I should be out mackin' it with some honies. Or something.

3. It was Mary Dot's birthday on Friday. And I swore up and down that I'd remember it, and I definitely didn't. I'll make up for it somehow, I'll... CPO her a belated birthday card! Make my amends. Show that I didn't mean it.

4. It was Kevin Costner's birthday on Tuesday. And I swore up and down that I'd remember it, and I definitely didn't. I'll make up for it somehow.

5. Sleep. But you knew that.

6. Making any random posts on the blog. On Costner's birthday, I was thinking of maybe making a "Best of Costner" list. Then I thought I'd bash him by maybe making a "Worst Movies of All Time," and to show how often he'd come up. Then I realized that you only had to read the "Best of Costner" list backwards to create the second list, and though I'd be accurate, you'd probably think I wasn't clever. So I went to bed.

7. Being connected. A good friend of mine started dating someone this week, and we've promised that we're going to get together so I can hear about how all this happened. Haven't yet. I'll make up for it somehow. I'll... CPO her a belated birthday card!

8. Finishing things that I start.



By the way, if you complete any of the quizzes on my earlier post, even if they're some of the embarassing ones, I want to hear about your results. What's your pirate name? What's your geek rating? What's your kissability?

I'm too curious to be denied. I want to know.




Results are in...

So, as you might have noticed from my previous post, I took a bunch of quizzes to discover whether or not I really have a type-A personality or not. While my research was quite conclusive, and my methods faultless, I'll leave it up to you to interpret the results:





Your score is 5!

1-5: You're a real team player. People have to earn your trust, as they should. You've got a perfect handle on life.







Your score is 6!

6-10: There are nice people and not-so-nice people. Don't you think it's a little boring to be in the wishy-washy middle ground?

Your Existing Situation

Relatively inactive and in a static condition, while conflict of one sort or another prevents peace of mind. Unable to achieve relationships of the desired degree of mutual affection and understanding.









  • You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you a Paul Begala.
  • You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to.
  • You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised.
  • You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.


















You are 14% geek. OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.







My pirate name is:





Black Tom Rackham







Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!





Arr.

Ben, the Year 2003 will have lots of ups and downs for your love life. It's easy for you to meet new people as you are easy going and fun to be with. You shouldn't expect to find your true love in every flirt. Don't be impatient and give your relationships some time to grow. When a flirt doesn't develop into something more, you will sooner or later find another sweet girl. The Year 2003 has lots of opportunities for you to find your true love. Good luck!









Your score is 85. Kissing is definitely your thing and you do it well. Keep up your skills by kissing that special someone often.

You are...

The Cingulate Gyrus!!!



Brainalicious!



Snugly encircling the superior thalamus, and sitting atop the corpus callosum, you are an integral part of the limbic system. You remain a mystery, but common thought is that your reciprocal connections to the frontal cortex and limbic system link decision-making and emotion! Although you are mushy in consistency, you are a great friend to those around you and your word is as solid as oak. You detest it when people prod you, so you do need to lighten up a bit. All in all, though, you are a solid citizen. (And without you, people often find themselves unable to talk or move!)







I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile.

Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away

I let mine out, and chatter all the while.



I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day

Is any day that's spent without a friend,

With nothing much to do or hear or say.



I like to be with people, and depend

On company for being entertained;

Which seems a good solution, in the end.




Natural is a word often used to describe style and fragrance. To you, "natural" describes the flair of Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston. Both are elegant style junkies, but never over the top, never overdone, always giving off an air of almost innocent enchantment and earthy good nature. You, dear, have the sensibility of the All-American It Girl.



You Are Emperor Palpatine!





Ben, You scored 55 percent in this test!

Ben, your witty comments and your seductive looks hit the bulls-eye every time. If somebody knows how to flirt then it's you. No matter if your heartthrob is shy or a go-getter, you know exactly how to bring her out of her shell and twist her around your little finger. When you're interested in somebody, you'll really get things moving. Because you are sensitive and know how to put yourself into your heartthrob's position, it's easy for you to give attention to your partner.



How Smart Are You?

Congratulations! You got a score of 10/10!

Your Rating: This is not the first time you made this test!


You Are: Rock/Pop! Get into the groove! You tend to be upbeat, so your music should be too. You love to dance and feel the beat. You've probably been known to sing in the car and bop around in your seat. There's no doubt rock 'n' roll revolutionized music, so be proud to be a part of the pop culture.





Denethor, Son of Ecthelion, Lord and Steward of Minas Tirith
People like you are rare. Unfortunately the closest person is Denethor. His obsession with knowing the future and suspicion of others is characteristic.

Everything that happens is important and you do not want to miss any of it. Others often look to you for courage, leadership, and wisdom. Social interaction energizes you. The more people the merrier. You have a tendency to introspection. While providing compassion and being considerate, you may have the tendency of being soft-hearted or even "too emotional" You like keeping your options open. Closure is probably not one of your strong suits.

The Orcs display the evil side of this personality with their lengthy torture methods.

Traits: Empathic, benevolent, looking to the future. On the dark side you could be sadistic.



You're a reliable and practical friend who can be counted on to come through when needed. You are rarely unprepared and would prefer to play it safe rather than take an unnecessary risk: Your ride is a Toyota Camry or Honda Civic


Case closed.

Type A Personality

We were talking about personalities at lunch today, and I commented that "I used to be a complete type-B personality, but now I think I'm becoming more of a type-A personality." Two people at the table immediately chorused, "you're type-A." They knew me well enough to make such a call, and they didn't sound uncertain. It worried me.



After all, no one wants to be a type-A personality. It's almost become code for "uptight prick," which is a level to which I hope I have not decended yet. We all have the same sort of vision of a type-A person:







Nobody wants to be that guy.



Have I become so stressed that I've completely reverted my personality to a type-A, and lost my type-B roots? I used to make fun of people for being type-A, since I was so type-B. I fell asleep in class all the time without shame (now I at least feel shame), never did homework, never worried about anything, and was always the person who was level when everyone else was freaking out about how busy everything is. I mean, c'mon, everyone wants to be a type-B sorta guy:



Look how relaxed he is. He's letting the world come to him, like all the great type-B heroes do: Zonker Harris, and, uh... I can't think of anyone else. 'Cause most go-getters in the world are type-A. This is not necessarily a good thing. After all, you know that Hitler had to have been type-A. I mean, he got up in the morning, got stuff done while all his slacker friends stayed in bed, and boom - there's the Third Reich. Now his lazy buddies have to do jumping jacks for propaganda videos. That'll teach 'em.



Before this post runs to far into dangerous waters, I came up with a few reasons why I really am type-A, and shouldn't feel insulted about it:



1. I'm really only type-A by comparison. I'm in college. Most of the guys that I know spend virtually all of their time playing video games and watching TV. Which I wholeheatedly approve of, but that's not nearly as much my thing as theirs. I spend a whole lot more of my time out of the dorm, talking to people. No one is more in favor of sloth than me, but if I sit for too many hours in front of the TV, I feel like I should be up and doing something. And that should certainly qualify me to be type-A.

2. I'm only type-A about media communication things. And this I fully admit to be true. When it comes to a film project, or a radio promo, or a sound board, I get really worked up about it, and want to make sure that everything is perfect. This is great for my grades and my work, but not so good for my friends, who have deal with me in these sorts of situations.

3. Everyone's a little type-A about some things, and a little type-B about others. My roommate is very protective of certain items, such as the coffee table, or the Playstation 2, and has certain rules about how close food can be in proximity to these items. He goes over his outfits very carefully. And yet he's fully willing to spend an entire evening playing video games without worrying anything else in his life. To me, this is how it should be - sweat somethings if it means a lot to you, and don't worry about the things that don't. And don't worry about what it is that means a lot to you. My roommate knows it's kind of silly to be protective of a Playstation 2 controller, but he is anyway, and so I respect the greasy-hands-free-zone around such areas. I could care less about how someone treats my stuff - I lose so much of my stuff through general carelessness that it doesn't matter anyway. But all my projects have to be perfect. That's the way it is.



However, while searching to find the answer to my completely unnecessary crisis of the spirit (a true type-B person wouldn't care if anyone thought he was type-A), I came across a bold visionary in the world of type-B personalities. He inspired me to forget my type-A ways and seek out my type-B roots. For that, I am indebted to him.



I've decided to test this "type-A" accusation, though, through the most accurate measuring instrument known to man: online quizzing. Stay tuned for results.