Fluency

I have only been here a week, but I am already fluent in Romanian. I mean it.

The reason for this is that because I spend so much time at the orphanage, the only word I need to know is "nu" (no). This word is very versatile, since it can translate several ways, ranging from "no, I won't pick you up again, I just put you down and I'm holding someone else now," to "if you hit that girl in the head with that rock one more time, so help me, you will regret it!" Later, I might learn other words, but I've learned that "yes," "no," "it's okay," and "go higher!" are about all you need to understand when playing with kids on a playground. The rest is just steady arms, a stern tone of voice, and careful damage control to make sure that someone else has to change the diapers. Piece o' cake.

There will be more updates as time goes on. I just wanted to let you know that I am indeed in Romania, I am alive, and I think I'm going to survive here. I like it very much.

La Revedere

I leave in a few minutes for the Boston Airport, to hop a plane that will take me to Shannon, Ireland, take another to London, England, and another to Budapest, Hungary. There, a Romanian unknown to me will pick me up and transport me the rest of the way to Beius, Romania. I return in two months.

As amazing as this all is, it saddens me to leave you, dear reader, because this may very well be the end of 10-4GB as we know it. I might not be able to post in Romania (I'll try), and when I return, I jet off immediately for a very busy semester in Los Angeles. And posting falls by the wayside very quickly once I get involved in a film.

So this is, in a way, goodbye. I've enjoyed being a part of your e-lives, and I hope to be again someday. I'm sorry I didn't e-mail anyone any responses these past few days, but I suppose you're all used to that at this point. I always mean well, but I always forget to write. Maybe someday I'll learn.

Keep tuned in, in case I find a way to post over the next weeks. In the meantime, I treasure your thoughts and prayers.

Wish me luck.

Last Day

I stayed up late packing and scrolling the 'net, and I haven't managed to put myself to bed yet. I leave for the airport in about twelve hours.

Before I left, I wanted to make a few recommendations for those of you with spare time or extra cash on hand in the next few weeks. If you haven't seen/purchased any of these yet, do so:

1. Batman Begins - I know, I know: the hype, the strange Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise thing, the fact that basically all four Batman movies before were terrible (ranging from Tim Burton's mostly uninspired efforts to Joel Schumacher's truly inspired awfulness), you don't like superhero movies, you're afraid it'll be too like Ang Lee's The Hulk (which featured the worst filmmaking decision in recent memory: having Eric Bana wander along in confused angst for a good hour and half in a film that everyone came to in order to see a big green guy smash stuff), you're allergic to ironic camp, etc. Ignore all that. Go see Batman Begins. It's good. It's extraordinarily well acted for its type (special props go to Christian Bale (Newsies, The Machinist), hands down the best Batman ever, and Cillian Murphy (28 Days Later), possibly the most realistic of all comic book villains), it isn't campy, you get to watch Christopher Nolan finds his feet as a director of action movies throughout, and even when the script (David S. Goyer, writer/director of the Blade movies) wavers in direction, Nolan keeps the intensity at the boiling point. And it's fun. Go find out yourself.

2. Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Once again, dear reader, ignore the hype. Forget this whole Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie are-they-or-aren't-they bit. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is thrilling - loads of action, wry humor, smoking-hot chemistry between the leads, Vince Vaugn trying without success to work his way into action films, a showdown in a department store featuring heat-seeking missiles, a car chase in a mini-van, Adam Brody trying without success to be anything but an overly bright neurotic teen, and either Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie to look at, depending on which one seems more your style. This is summer movie season. Turn off your brain, deposit yourself in an air-conditioned theater, and enjoy yourself.

3. Coldplay - X + Y - It's one of those albums that you fall in love with on your seventh listen through, because there's so much sonic glory to listen to you missed how tuggingly emotional it all is. After that, you never tire of it.

4. Better Than Ezra - Before The Robots - Here, they do what they do best: write quirky, anthemic, sometimes almost perfect pop tunes. Much less experimental than How Does Your Garden Grow? (One of the finest pop albums in the past fifteen years - it pushed the envelope for pop music without ever losing its lush, melodic sound or its gripping emotion. It rivals Radiohead's Kid A in terms of being grounbreaking, but no one noticed), rather, it sounds like a smoothing out of their more recent pop offering, Closer. Since you don't own either album, let me put it this way: it is to Closer what Switchfoot's A Beautiful Letdown was to Learning To Breathe.

Updates

Romania fast approaches. I'm starting to feel a little shaky, I've never travelled by myself to a country where no one really speaks my language. And then I remember how ridiculous that is, because people do such things all the time, and I'm much more fortunate than a Romanian travelling to America, 'cause nobody speaks Romanian. Except for everybody in my family but me.

Thanks to everyone who's given ideas for my romantic comedy screenplay so far. The results have been creative and all the ideas have been good. In fact, I've already worked all the ideas I've received so far into the screenplay (even the ferret!). It's much better for it. I'll make a tenuous promise right now that any ideas received will, in fact, be put into the screenplay in some fashion. If that doesn't get your creative juices flowing, I don't know what will.

Speaking of creative juices, I was stunned and a touch put out to discover, in a letter from the Los Angeles Film Studies Center, which I will be attending in the fall, that all films created for LAFSC classes must be "non-dialogue." That's correct, sports fans, there can't be any dialogue in them whatsoever. It's all the visual. I'm making silent movies.

Honestly, though, once I'd gotten over the shock, I realized that this isn't a bad thing. I always consider dialogue my strength (and story my weakness), but this has a lot going for it. It takes all the pressure off finding good actors and puts it all on cinematography (a major fav of mine) and music (ditto). Also, I can have voice-over, which makes me consider doing an episode of "Sin City" (no, seriously). One way or another, I've come up with several ideas over the past day or two, most of them mediocre at best, but at least I've got ideas coming. One way or another, it'll be fun.

That's all for now. More updates as events occur, but my Monday morning flight fast approaches.

Review: Revenge Of The Sith

I don’t believe you can really imagine my level of disappointment after watching Revenge of the Sith for the first time. Understand, I had no real preconceptions of this movie – I knew what the plot was going to be, naturally, but I’d intentionally avoided listening to rumors about the film – which turned out to be a good thing. I heard vague reports that the opening firefight was going to be breathtaking (it wasn’t), I knew Lucas was finally going to reveal the secret of how some Jedi vanish and some Jedi’s bodies remain (he didn’t), and similar bits and pieces (I also heard Jar-Jar was going to be wasted. What happened?). And so I came into the theatre, wary from past Star Wars prequel missteps but hopeful for better things. In fact, my main hope was that it would just be as good as Attack of the Clones. If it was that good, I would be more than satisfied. I wasn’t satisfied

(Before I go further, I do want to address Attack of the Clones. It’s time that people stop knocking that film. When it came out, it was lauded to the skies – a few nasty missteps on the romantic dialogue, but otherwise, the general consensus was that Episode II the best since Empire Strikes Back. So why the backlash? Everyone now talks about how awful it was, and all they ever mention was that terrible montage on Naboo. The rest of the film has disappeared from most people’s minds. Ask someone what he remembers of Attack of the Clones, and he’ll tell you about a film in which Hayden Christensen mumbles about sand. But try to think back – when you saw Episode II in theatres, it was stunning, it was breathtaking, it was everything you thought a Star Wars film should be. I state this as a fact: Though its translation to the small screen was roughest, Attack of the Clones was the best big-screen movie of the entire series. Period)

To continue: having been so disappointed the first time through, I vowed to look again with fresh eyes and just try to enjoy myself. Fortunately, the second time turned out to be a much more enjoyable ride, mostly because I made some new discoveries about Revenge of the Sith along the way, the main one being that: it's pretty good. I didn't see that one coming.

Why the change in heart? There's a number of reasons for it, each one of which I didn't notice the first time through but became much more apparent the second time through. Let me contrast it for you.

Original Impression: Hayden Christensen is the worst possible choice to have played Anakin. Lucas likely held auditions just for this purpose, and when he saw how awful Christensen could be, which is apparently even worse than Jake Lloyd, it was decided. Perhaps choosing Christensen is some sort of in-joke over at the Skywalker Ranch, where they're still giggling to this day at Christensen's selection, as people the world over stare at the screen in bewilderment and try to figure out if they're supposed to take him seriously or not.

Current Impression: Christensen is a great deal smarter than most people - for example, you and I - and he sees facets of Anakin which we never understood. Let me try to explain this to you, as this is a complicated theory: everything which we have disbelievingly shook our heads at throughout the prequels - the bad dialogue, the stilted acting, and so on - are actually calculated attempts to make us understand better the fate of Anakin.

Stick with me here. The first thing to understanding this theory is to consider all six movies in their chronological rather than created order. When you do that, you begin to understand that Star Wars is not about Luke, Leia, or Obi-Wan, but is in fact in its entirety about Anakin. Star Wars plots his rise, fall, and ultimate redemption, all other characters are merely taking part in his story.

Got that? Now, consider how Anakin relates to people. Throughout all of Star Wars (which, from now on, will be referred to as one continuous movie), Anakin's thought pattern is trapped into the framework which he learned as a child - you are either slave or free. As a result, he treats every person he meets as if they are beneath him and should be ignored, or above him, and should be deferred to (Obi-Wan, Yoda, Palpatine, even Padme). For example, his relationship with Obi-Wan is completely unlike any master-padawan relationship in all of Star Wars - Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan seem more like brothers, Obi-Wan and Luke are like father and son, and Yoda treats everyone like a favorite student. But Anakin can't fathom that sort of relationship, despite all of Obi-Wan's best efforts. When he reaches out to Anakin in friendship, which he does for most of Revenge of the Sith, Anakin still sees him as a master trying to control him - therefore, when Anakin complains "the whole Council's against me," he isn't merely being petulant. He really believes that you are either with him or you aren't, there is no in between. Obi-Wan assumes that "only a Sith speaks in absolutes," but he's mistaken - only someone who sees everything in black and white can truly reject all light as darkness. A more circumspect individual would have had to have admitted that yeah, maybe Mace Windu was wrong to have a hack at Palpatine when he was down, but it still seems a better option than executing eight-year-olds. Anakin's descent into becoming Darth Vader is less an example of how a good boy went bad as it is how misguided thinking creates misguided actions.

Which leads me to my next point, which is that Anakin isn't really all that evil at all. Even when he's turned so completely that he's even abandoned Padme, it's still fairly obvious that maybe if he had a good night's sleep, a round-table discussion with all the Jedi to clear the air a bit, and maybe a little racquetball to work off the stress, Anakin would've still stuck around on the Jedi side of things and he wouldn't have had to have gotten fitted for those robotic pajamas. In fact, the real message of Revenge of The Sith is basically that Darth Vader was really, all along, just a big dork.

No, really. See, all this time we thought what Anakin was saying was just bad dialogue, poorly written, with no snap to it. The truth of the the matter is - that's how Anakin talks. He's just a dorky kid, with kinda sucky social skills. He can't really relate to people, least of all Padme, whom he adores but always feels inadequate around. We all believed Darth Vader was the greatest of bad guys, pure badass evil enfleshed. Revenge of the Sith is about how there's just this... guy in there, forever captured by the stupid mistakes he made when he was dumb kid and sorta-accidently destroyed a republic. As my dad put it "Darth Vader has Asberger's Syndrome! It all makes sense now!" Touche.

Original Impression: The acting in Revenge of the Sith is, across the board, terrible.

Current Impression: The acting in Revenge of the Sith is, across the board, mediocre, with some bright spots and some flinch-inducing moments. I first of all want to congratulate Ewan McGregor, who clearly had no direction whatsoever on some of his lines but did a marvelous job anyway. Often he'll emphasize the wrong word, because he doesn't understand that he's dangling upside-down in an elevator shaft while the whole world is blowing up. This is the trouble with blue-screen technology - the actors cannot correctly convey to the viewer what their character feels about the current event because they have no clue what is going on. For not paying enough attention to such details and making sure that each actor's lines fit with the cinematic splendor that would later be appearing around them, Lucas deserves a healthy swat to the side of the head. I only wish I were there to give it to him.

Samuel L. Jackson (Mace Windu) and Ian McDiarmid (Chancellor Palpatine) are both mostly solid throughout, particularly McDiarmid in an excellent turn as the face of ultimate evil veiled as good intentions - though they do have their moments of hammy lunacy. The dramatic scene in Palpatine's office where Mace Windu tries to arrest and later execute Palpatine is perhaps the best example of both actors at their absolute worst: Jackson phones it in while McDiarmid performs with all the reserve and subtlety of an epileptic fit. It's a terrible scene in all regards, and features one of the biggest black marks on Revenge of the Sith - Anakin's final change to the Dark Side is a hamhanded, throwaway scene. Aim another swat at Lucas.

Natalie Portman (whom I desperately admire and hate to criticize) is mostly invisible throughout. Everyone else is computer animated (Yoda, the sadly not-dead Jar-Jar Binks) or so utterly blank that they might as well be (Jimmy Smits as a thoroughly useless Bail Organa). I'd give Lucas another swat, but he did give a cameo to Keisha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider), making this the third straight film that he's disguised a talented, beautiful actress behind white make-up so that the viewing public has no idea that they're even in the film (Keira Knightley in Phantom Menace, Rose Byrne in Attack of the Clones). That's so strangely counter-intuitive that I have to give him credit: he really is making films with utter disregard to how Hollywood does anything. That's a worthwhile endeavor. We'll leave it at two swats.

Original Impression: The special effects in Star Wars are mere flash-and-dance, they don't help tell the story at all.

Current Impression: Lucas is so determined to be cutting-edge with his CGI that he sometimes missteps, and sometimes creates scenes of compelling emotion. Ultimately, it's worth the risk. Look, sometimes, it doesn't work, and the opening scene is the best example of this: the firefight as the Jedi try to find their way into General Grievous' ship, R2-D2's fight with the battle droids in the hanger bay, Grievous' escape from Anakin and Obi-Wan's clutches, the crash landing of the ship - it's a heckuva try, but there's nothing there. It's all thunder and tempest with no real plot behind it to interest the viewers who like that sort of thing. And what's more, it looks like a cut scene from the latest LucasArts video game.

And then, sometimes, it does work, to glorious effect. Obi-Wan battles Grievous in the Outer Rim, and it ranges all over the various levels of the city - it's fun, it's exciting, it's pure eye-candy, and you actually care about the outcome. Lucas keeps forgetting this important facet - that the audience wants to give a damn - during battle footage, so he shows us Wookies battling droids on Kashyyk, even though everyone knows that the outcome of the battle means absolutely nothing to the plot. He just wanted an excuse to jam Chewbacca in there. For shame, George.

Much better is the final battle scene on Mustafar, as Anakin battles Obi-Wan as lava surges all around them. Emotions are high, the fight sequence is frankly stunning (excellent work by Christensen and McGregor), and the CGI complements (hey!) the story.

Honestly, the problems of the CGI in Revenge of the Sith are a fitting metaphor for the problems of the rest of the film. Sometimes Lucas pushes beyond his limits and gums it all up, and it all falls flat. Sometimes he finds a new way to do things that is so provocative and stunning that it truly grips you with its emotion, without ever losing track of the fun of it all. There's no way to deny that as flawed as Revenge of the Sith is, it's still the same thrilling ride that A New Hope was a generation ago. Bravo.

Three and a Half Stars