Sleuth

As most people who read this blog already know, I grew up without a television. When I was a young child, my parents would occasionally rent a television, or borrow the one at our church for a week (we went to an incredibly trusting church). We always tried to work it so that the television would stay for more than a week, and we became so good at it that we often succeeded in keeping the television for upwards of a month during the summer.

The trick was working it so that whatever movie our parents wanted to watch - there was always one or two movies they wanted to get around to watching - it just happened there would be "no time" to get them watched that first week. You know, something would always come up at the last minute, they'd lose their chance to watch the movie they wanted to, and so the television would stay for another week so that this parent could finally get a chance to watch the film.

Naturally, sometimes these films were for our own edification, a movie Dad wanted to watch with us, or perhaps something Mom wanted to experience along with her children. As a result, I once watched the A&E's 6-hour re-telling of "Pride and Prejudice" twice within a 48-hour period (boy, that Colin Firth was something, huh?). But it was all worth it.

One of these moments was during Family Movie Night. I don't think we ever had a family movie night outside of this one occasion, and it was a memorable one. We had rented Sleuth, starring Laurence Olivier as the bitter genius who invites his ex-wife's lover, Michael Caine, over and engages him in a life-or-death battle of wits, but the VHS tape was so poorly made that the audio couldn't be heard outside a one-and-a-half foot radius from the television. A normal family would've returned to the video store and traded the movie in for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but not us. We soldiered on.

We turned everything in our house that could possibly make noise off (fans, air conditioners, dishwashers, washing machines, killed the family pets, etc.) and huddled around the television. As I recall, we had Keith, our "Fresh Air Kid" from New York out with us that summer, who just stared in disbelief at our technological desperation and disappeared up the stairs for the evening - in fact, come to think of it, it's possible Family Movie Night was supposedly entirely for his benefit, not that this stopped us. We had spent good money renting a movie, and by God, we were going to watch that movie. We cranked the volume to maximum (Stage Whisper Mode) and breathed shallowly for two hours. And you know what? It was worth it. I was so engrossed that fifteen years later, I still remember details from the movie, all the way up to its exciting, barely audible finale.

So imagine my glee to discover that Kenneth Branagh has directed a remake of Sleuth, which will be premiering later this fall. Michael Caine returns to play Olivier's role, and his former role is being played by Jude Law, who - say what you will, tabloid hawks - is a tremendously talented, brainy actor, despite his mysterious penchant for cheating on arguably the most beautiful actress alive. Also, the adaptation is written by Harold Pinter, who has won a Nobel Laureate for Literature, though admitted for one of the shittiest poem collections ever written ("War"). Still, this is the guy they turn to for adaptations of Kafka and Proust, and he's written a number of Oscar-nominated and Oscar-winning screenplays (The French Lieutenant's Woman, for instance), which I think legitimately qualifies him to write a brainy enough thriller to satisfy the masses.

Check out the new trailer here.

While you're at it, check out the trailer for the original here.

Simpsonizing

I meant to finish my Bourne Ultimatum review today, but instead I took this picture:

And Simpsonized it:


Which, interestingly enough, does not look all that different from this picture:

Art imitating life, it seems. That's me in front of the Dallas Kwik-E-Mart, by the way, one of 12 Kwik-E-Marts in the world right now. I made a special journey to see it. A pilgrimage, perhaps.

While in Dallas, I also visited the Mary Kay building with a friend on a pilgrimage of her own, though for me I felt a bit like I was part of the fellowship in Lord of the Rings, entering the heart of evil and hoping not to get noticed. I'll post pictures of that later if I get a chance.


Arcade Fire + Neon Bible + The Woodlands + Church

Alright, I give up:

Can someone explain Arcade Fire's Neon Bible album to me? It's one of my favorite albums of the year, especially since a) I live in The Woodlands and b) I work at a church.

You see, the lead singer of Arcade Fire, Win Butler, grew up in The Woodlands (and went to high school at Phillip Exeter in NH, interestingly). I ran into Andy Osenga shortly after he bought the album, and he suggested to me that the whole Neon Bible album was probably about church in the Woodlands. "It makes sense," he noted. "I've never met anyone from the Woodlands who didn't work at a church."

Butler eventually packed up bags from The Woodlands, moved to Montreal and started Arcade Fire. On one of his first albums, he wrote a song called "The Woodlands National Anthem," which I don't pretend to understand but I've included lyrics for those curious.

But Neon Bible is several steps beyond just one cryptic song. Filled with accusatory tunes like "Neon Bible" and "Intervention," which includes the chorus "working for the church while your family dies," it's tough for someone in my position not to listen to the album with a careful ear. The band recorded the whole album in a church (how's that for symbolism?), and their tour is decked out with religious symbols - in neon, appropriately.

So, I've done the Google search in the title in several different variations without any real success, though I have uncovered a lot of people who feel the whole thing is a grand metaphor for Bush. Surprise.* And so this is my plea: could someone who comes across this post through web searches or linkings or what have you please explain to me what this whole album is about, and what The Woodlands has to do with any of it?

And now I play the waiting game.


*By the way, if this post is found by one of those grand-metaphor-for-Bush people, could you please not leave messages like "anyone who doesn't think this album is about Bush has his f---ing head in the sand," or "it's such a f---ing cop out to think that this album isn't about Bush," etc. You may in fact be right - I'm willing to listen to such theories - but I've just read enough abrasiveness for right now. Make your case in the Queen's English, please.